Divorce is often seen as a failure, shrouded in stigma and judgment, especially in cultures
where marriage is held as an unbreakable bond. In my community, marriage is more than a
personal commitment; it’s a symbol of family pride and collective honour. The thought of
separation, of ending something that society sees as sacred, feels like a betrayal—not only
to a spouse but to an entire community. This societal weight often bears down heavily on
individuals, especially women, who are taught to prioritize family stability above their own
happiness.
For years, I was caught in this web of expectations, feeling bound by an unspoken duty to
maintain the appearance of a happy family. I endured long stretches of unhappiness,
convincing myself it was simply my burden to bear. But beneath the facade, I was slowly
losing myself. I felt torn, wrestling with the internal conflict between my yearning for
happiness and the obligations I felt to everyone around me. The struggle to uphold an image
began to feel like a cage, trapping me in a life that no longer felt like my own.
Eventually, I made the difficult decision to leave. It felt as if I were walking directly into a
storm, bracing myself for the emotional fallout. The reactions from family and friends were,
as expected, severe. My parents, who raised me with the belief that marriage is
unbreakable, expressed their disappointment with heavy hearts. “What about the children?”
they asked, as though my decision to seek happiness meant I would jeopardize my
children’s well-being.
In those moments, I grappled deeply with guilt and self-doubt. I questioned my own worth
and feared I was failing as a mother. But as I waded through the emotional turmoil, I slowly
came to a crucial realization: staying in an unhealthy environment would ultimately cause
more harm than leaving. By choosing to leave, I was teaching my children the importance of
self-respect and honesty. I wanted them to understand that happiness is not a selfish pursuit;
it’s a necessity for a fulfilling life.
As I gradually broke free from societal expectations, I started to discover my true self. I
realized that happiness wasn’t just a choice—it was something essential to my well-being.
Each step of my journey toward authenticity was fraught with challenges, yet each moment
of struggle only strengthened my resolve to redefine my life on my own terms.
Strength Through Adversity: Embracing a New Life - A Story of Resilience and
Empowerment
Overcoming the stigma of divorce in the Asian community has been one of the most
challenging and transformative experiences of my life. My journey spans over a decade,
rooted in an unwavering determination to reclaim my happiness, even when the path
seemed insurmountable. Navigating a toxic marriage, I found myself longing for a life filled
with peace and joy—not only for myself but also for my children.
My journey toward liberation truly began around 2010. I knew I wanted a life that felt
genuine, one where I could breathe freely without feeling the weight of constant discontent.
For seven long years, I attempted to convey my truth to my family, hoping they would
understand my need for freedom. But manipulation, resistance, and a lack of support made
my journey incredibly difficult.
Living under the same roof as my ex-husband during the divorce proceedings took an
emotional toll that I could hardly anticipate. The day-to-day conflicts, paired with my family’s
disappointment, only intensified the already challenging path. Yet, despite these obstacles, I
found within myself a steadfast commitment to freedom. There were days I felt isolated and
worn down, but I learned that resilience often emerges in the moments we feel weakest.
In January 2021, I finally achieved my freedom. It was a moment I’ll never forget—the
culmination of years of silent battles and quiet resilience. To mark this newfound
independence, I threw a small celebration—a symbolic divorce party that quickly went viral
online. The reaction was overwhelming; messages from all corners of the world poured in,
filled with words of encouragement, empathy, and gratitude. People shared their own
experiences of isolation and fear, often held back by similar stigmas. I felt humbled and
moved, realizing that by sharing my story, I had unknowingly created a space for others to
find hope and courage.
The reactions reminded me of how deeply the stigma of divorce is ingrained in our
community. Many are taught that leaving a marriage is not an option, regardless of the
emotional or mental toll it may take. In our culture, divorce is seen as a failure, something to
be hidden and endured silently. My story had challenged that norm, proving that we have the power to redefine our lives—even in the face of judgment.
Reflecting on my journey, I see now how every challenge has strengthened my resilience.
Each moment of hardship has reinforced my commitment to living authentically. Through my
experiences, I hope to inspire others to embrace their truth, to seek out their happiness no
matter how daunting the journey may seem. By prioritizing our well-being, we teach our
children, our friends, and ourselves that happiness and self-respect are worth fighting for.
A Message of Empowerment
The decision to leave my marriage was one of the hardest I have ever made, but it was also
the most empowering. For those who find themselves trapped in similar situations, I want to
say this: Your happiness and your peace are worth the battle. There may be dark days and
moments of self-doubt, but the light at the end of the tunnel is real. My journey was difficult,
filled with moments where I questioned my choices and my strength. But in each step
forward, I found a little more freedom, a little more hope, and a lot more self-love.
As I look back on my journey, I am proud not only for the strength it took to walk away but for the legacy of resilience I am building for my children. My story is not just a tale of
overcoming stigma; it’s a testament to the capacity of the human spirit to grow, heal, and rise above adversity.
Today, I continue to advocate for change, pushing back against the societal norms that hold
so many captive. My hope is that by sharing my experience, others will find the courage to
listen to their inner voice and honour their own truths. After all, a life lived authentically is the
truest form of happiness—one that no amount of societal expectation can take away.